- A state is really just a plot of land that somebody has projected human meaning onto.

For me, the state is the people, my people, whose blood is here, whose bodies are here, but whose spirit in many ways is everywhere.

(atmospheric space-age music) I grew up in a completely Black neighborhood.

The great benefit of that is that I had teachers and I had crossing guards, and I had grocery store clerks, and tax people, and yard people, and mail folks who always felt that I was... ...their responsibility.

My high school coach brings me to the office and he says, "Say man, this coach from Yale "wants to talk to you."

And I kid you not, my first question was: "Where is Yale, coach?"

Word had gotten out and this old groundskeeper put his hands on my shoulders and he said: "Are you that boy they talking about going to Yale?"

I said, "Yes, sir."

And he started crying!

And he said: "Go all the way, son.

"Go all the way."

To grow up Black in this state means to be a walking miracle.

Enslaved Texans took two extra years to even know that we'd been emancipated, and that's where we get Juneteenth from.

I was raised never feeling any sense of inferiority because I was Black.

In part because the people were so damn strong.

There were many Black Texans who left and went North, went West, went many other places.

It's a very particular thing to stay.

And those are the people I came from.

So there was such an extraordinary expectation that your life mattered.

Then being gay is a totally different... (Laughs) Being... Being gay is a totally different adventure!

And it's not just that sense that you may be physically harmed, but you deserve it.

And once you're out of this body, and out of this life, you're going to burn forever.

That was a great gift... but I spent a lot of my childhood in this state trying to get rid of this gift.

In some ways, a queer Texan is the truest Texan of all.

Because the idea of this place is that you're gonna be yourself no matter the cost.

And the lonest star in the Lone Star State is a queer Texan.

I remember going to New York, it was where I started to really reclaim my Texan-ness.

And I came back because I needed a better way to live.

A lot of my best work has been about Texas.

The reason I like being in Texas to write is because human interaction is an occupational hazard to a writer.

It makes a lot more sense to be lonely in Texas.

There's some... ...elegance, and glamor, and... ...drama maybe, grandeur, to loneliness in Texas, for me.

I do feel stronger here.

I feel clearer.

Texas was Mexico.

Texas was Spain.

Texas was France.

Texas was Texas.

Texas was the Confederacy.

It is the South.

It is the West.

It is the border.

It's slavery.

It's cotton.

It's cattle.

It's oil.

Texas is in my voice.

Texas is in my skin.

It's in all of it.

But I think that pales in comparison to what it's going to be.

And what it's going to be... ...is what the people of Texas, and people who come to Texas, and people who leave Texas, and... ...all of the cosmic forces that shine down on Texas what all those energies conspire to make it.

I think it will take the rest of my life, and probably a few lifetimes after to fully understand how Texas has shaped... ...who I am.

(atmospheric music)